“I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I always knew the woman I wanted to be.”
-Diane Von Furstenberg
Well if that doesn't nail the start of 2018 right on the head, I don't know what does. I typically consider myself a pretty motivated person, and the start of a new calendar year marks the perfect excuse to break out that fresh new planner and set a list of goals that more often than not fall to the wayside come mid-March... but this year? Crickets. I can see so clearly the woman I want to become, but as I'm sitting here typing this while eating a bowl of pasta that I heated up in the microwave, I can't shake this nagging fear that I'll never figure out how to become her. It's as if I can see what she'll look like at the end of the road, but what about all the stops along the way? My mind is drawing a desolate blank.
I don't know why I felt so uninspired heading into this new year, but I do know that 2017 was a total doozy. From losing my job to moving cities for a new one, to growing in unexpected ways in my relationship with myself that led me to ultimately learn more about who I am as a woman—a fresh start seemed to be exactly what I needed. And yet here I am closing out the second week of 2018 with no resolution scratched down in the sparkling new planner that I paid too much for. As my boyfriend would say, "Classic Alexis."
Is it just me—or is being a young twenty-something like... kind of *really* hard?
My girlfriends and I often joke about how the age 23 is quite possibly the most annoying period of life. We aren't quite married yet, but we're dating men we love. We live on our own, but we're not quite financially stable enough to own a home. We have full-time jobs and sit atop a low-bearing seat on that pesky corporate ladder, but we by no means have the funds to live comfortably. And sure, for the skeptics reading this—yes, I'm aware that my millennial-ness is coming out here in this woe is me paragraph, but can't we all admit that amid the societal pressures of being a young woman in the year 2018, life out here isn't easy for a lady in the streets!
Nevertheless, I digress. My point here is this: life is difficult. It's sometimes painful, sometimes unfair, rarely sensical, but ultimately beautiful. I'm here to tell those of you reading this who feel lost or confused and unsure of where to turn that you are not alone! Even the most put-together woman can be unraveling by a string on the inside, contrary to her Instagram feed. Whether you're 23 or 33—life can surely throw some unexpected punches right to the gut, and there's no age nor pair of shoes that can make it better. Well, unless they're Louboutins but that's besides the point.
If you're in a similar situation to me, and are lacking this motivational boost we come to expect from ourselves at the start of the year, I encourage you to take the time and do some serious soul searching. Give yourself a detailed evaluation of the past year and identify your areas that are most in need. Then reflect, pray, and grow. If you're needing a place to start, here are the questions I asked myself this week to get me going:
- What are your career aspirations? Are you doing something everyday to achieve them? What could you be doing more of? Write it down.
- Are you continuing to let other's opinions control the way you see yourself? Stop! Open your bible and fill up with the Word of God. There's no better motivational boost than being reminded of just how much Jesus loves us, and how the only opinion that matters is His.
- Are you more concerned about what's happening on Instagram than the conversation with the real-life person in front of you? Put your phone down and make a point to be present in the moment. Life is far too short to miss the beautiful details in the margins.
- Are you taking care of your health & wellness? Of course it's important to live an active and healthy lifestyle for your physical body but what are you doing to take care of your precious mind and spirit? Are you taking time out of your day to simply step back from it all and set your intention for the upcoming day, week, & month? Mindfulness can seriously change the way you live your life, and we hold all the power to making that happen! Isn't that just so freeing?!
Let's all stand together and pledge to put forth the best version of ourselves this year—not for our social media profiles or for anyone else's enjoyment—but solely for us. It's one thing to look fabulous on the outside, donning killer shoes & accessories day in and day out, but 2018 is all about building a beautifully fabulous inside, because there's not much the world can do to bring down a woman with a full heart & a happy mind.
The gorgeous shoes are simply an added bonus.