The past few months have been a whirlwind to say the least. Amid the chaos of my living quarters changing, being in a new job, and having a new roommate, my life surprisingly feels so at ease. So comfortable, so happy, and so right.
That being said, it’s no doubt that my finances have seen better days...
Between moving cities and switching jobs, the changes I encountered didn’t leave much room for error—especially when you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Factor in having to go a month without a paycheck and consider your girl financially STRAPPED.
My personal brand is all about authenticity. It’s a beautiful thing when women can come together to lift each other up as opposed to standing in a shade full of comparison. As a Type A planner, I’ve been thinking about what a financially secure future would look like. As I go through all the glamorous scenarios in my mind of what kind of house I’d like to own, what my ideal closet would look like, and how much money my bank account would have, I have this icky feeling wash over me. Are those the things that will make me feel secure?
It suddenly dawned on me that I haven’t really defined what wealth means to me.
Lately, I’ve been tooootally struggling with my financial growth. I’m not where I thought I’d be at 25, and though I know I have so much to be grateful for, I still feel like I’ve fallen short somehow of the picture I painted whilst tapping my pencil on the corner of my desk during the carefree days of high school. Is it normal to cross my fingers while swiping my debit card at the grocery store, hoping the charge will go through? Do most people struggle with putting money away each month into their savings account, or is it just me? Will my selfish ways of needing the latest skincare obsession or wellness trend ever stop, or will I always be a broke poser—imitating this life of luxury when my bank account yearns for an end to the madness?
However aside from my financial woes, I tried to find what it is that I’m really searching for. Is it a bank account with lots of commas or is it a life that’s fulfilled with healthy relationships and finding the courage to follow my dreams?
OKAY—confession time: Though it doesn’t seem to be a big driver for me in overall happiness, I think I’m most triggered by my financial frustration. It’s one thing to see someone loving their job or thriving in their romantic relationship, but for some reason, a financial gain for someone else stings greater than all those other things.
Why is it that we internalize our peers' successes as our own failures?
In an attempt to really dig deep on what satisfies my soul, I thought I’d make a list of what a wealthy life truly means to me. I hope to continue working on my finances, building a comfortable cushion for myself as I grow older but money isn’t the only thing we should be grateful for. Or at least, here’s to hoping... Anyways, here are the things that bring my soul complete and utter fulfillment:
A healthy body that that is strong, capable, and active.
A beautiful mind that finds joy when all my eyes can see are clouds. A mind that puzzles itself on the daily with dreams bigger than the words I use to speak them. An entanglement of beautiful messes that equate to the emotions and feelings that drive my decisions.
A family that stands beside me with such love and adoration.
A man that I love who loves me back in a way that is honest, pure, beautiful, and right.
A puppy that completes my soul, whose eyes give me such trust and compassion in just one tiny blink. And her puppy kisses!!!!
A desire to dream, think, achieve, fail, succeed, and explore.
The ability to travel and explore the world, with friends and loved ones to adventure with.
The joy I feel when letting my mind explore the keys of my keyboard, connecting my thoughts and dreams with words from my heart.
My bank account leaves much to be desired and I’m certainly not put-together when it comes to my financial planning. And though I can very easily get down on myself for not having $X in my savings or for having a smaller retirement account than I should, I’m a work in progress! I think it’s important to continue taking small steps towards building a strong future for ourselves, but the immense pressure I put on myself to be in some place that I’m not just isn’t going to cut it anymore. Let’s all cut ourselves some slack, ladies!
Take some time this week to write out what you’re grateful for, giving attention to all the things—big or small—that bring you joy in life. Looking at the list above, I feel like the richest girl in the world. xoxo