Anyone that knows me well knows that my mom and I have a bond that is unlike most mother-daughter relationships. I often describe her as not just my mom or even as a close friend, but rather, as my soul sister. We connect on a spiritual level that is so beautiful, it totally reiterates my belief in God’s unfailing promise to deliver us on a path that is destined for only us. I know in my heart that it has been and always will be in God’s will that I be her daughter and that she be my mother.
Throughout my lifetime I’ve been able to witness first hand the endearing and often unyielding strength of a woman’s heart, mind, and soul. Standing at just 5 feet tall, my mother has proven to withstand the mightiest of storms. She’s not only been an incredible example of what a Godly woman looks and acts like, but she’s my constant guiding light when it comes to relationship woes, personal moments of weakness, or the inevitable how long do you bake a chicken breast in the oven questions. I can have the worst of days and instantly hearing her voice through the phone will ease my sorrows and stresses.
She’s constantly teaching me new things, but in honor of Mother’s Day I thought I’d share with you the six things that remain constant messages of love and light when I need help getting through tough times:
1. BLOOM WHERE YOU ARE PLANTED.
Earlier this year I really struggled settling into Des Moines after moving here rather abruptly. My job situation wasn’t ideal, I wasn’t in the same town as my boyfriend anymore, and my comfortable 60 mile drive from home nearly tripled. I’d call my mom every day crying about where I was and how difficult simply waking up and getting out of bed was. She’s always told my sisters and I to bloom where we are planted. Sometimes we can’t understand why we’re in the place that we’re in or have been put in a situation that we didn’t anticipate coming, but we’ve got to show up and do the best we can. You’re where you are for a reason, so you might as well make the most out of it.
2. DON'T SETTLE FOR ANYTHING.
I’m at a point in my life where the opportunities are endless and my journey is just beginning. I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I haven’t fully settled into a town where I’ve bought a house and called my home. It’s so beautiful and freeing knowing that the world is my oyster, with endless shoes for the buying. My mom has always taught me, but now more than ever, that it’s so important to choose happiness and live a life worth living. Don’t settle for a relationship that doesn’t challenge you to be a better person while also promising to take care of you forever. Don’t settle for a job that you hate, because life is too short to sit at a desk all day doing something you don’t believe in. Don’t surround yourself with people who don’t make you better, because there’s no time for it.
3. NOT EVERYONE DESERVES A SEAT AT THE TABLE OF YOUR LIFE.
I think as we get older we really start to notice who true friends are. People will come and go in our lives until the very end, and though it may be sad to see someone you love no longer be in your direct line of communication anymore, it’s also important to recognize that you don’t need to include people who don’t bring value to your life. If you've got a relationship in your life whether it be romantic or a friendship that drains you of your spirit leaving you feeling defeated and unworthy, don't waste another precious second of time associating yourself with that toxicity. You've been given one life to live so don't waste any time including people who don't deserve to be in it.
4. IF IT DOESN'T OPEN, IT'S NOT YOUR DOOR.
From not getting accepted to the study abroad program I applied for in college to being turned down by many jobs, there’s been plenty of missed opportunities in my life. My mom has always been my sound voice of reason, promising that each closed door is God’s way of saying, “Nope, you’re not going that way.” It’s a mantra I’ve lived my life by, and has really changed the way I view opportunities. Taking a risk is such a thrill, and if it works out then there’s no greater feeling. But taking a risk and finding out that it wasn’t your time or maybe even not your route after all is almost just as invigorating, because it’s showing you how destined you are for the path that you’ll ultimately find. Relationships, jobs, cities, haircuts… it’s all a part of our own unique journey, and just because something doesn’t work out doesn’t mean that we aren't meant to live a life we're in love with. It just means that perhaps the life we thought we wanted doesn't come close to how amazing your journey will actually become.
5. CHOOSE TO SEE THE GOOD IN EVERYONE.
My mom has the best heart of anyone I’ve ever known. She’s so loving, often too friendly, and wildly apologetic. She has always shown me by example how to love others in a completely open and accepting way. She hugs everyone she encounters and loves with no bounds. She's a constant reminder for me that love endures all pain, all worry, and all circumstances. She's shown me that there is beauty in everything, and every one deserves a chance to be loved.
6. BUY THE SHOES.
My mom has always treated my sisters and I with the most childlike wonder, always promising us the beautiful life of our dreams. Even though we are all three now in our 20’s and 30’s respectively, my mom can still make us feel like our life is for the taking and if we want to eat the cake for dessert then we better make it a big piece! She’s my favorite person to call while shopping at the mall, contemplating going through the Dairy Queen drive-thru, or eyeing my online shopping cart for the third time that night because I know exactly what she'll say.
In the words of my mother, “Oh honey, you deserve it!”
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there, especially my beautiful, sassy, silly, and sweet soul sister! xoxo